We’ve had a big week and tomorrow I’m going to take somewhat of a breather from posting. I say that now, but I’ll probably still end up re-posting at least three articles on Rob Schneider, one article on Food Babe’s bullshit, and at least one meme on why essential oils really, truly don’t cure cancer.
Earlier this week this article surfaced:
We collectively had a bit of an aneurysm. Because we love modern science, right? And what’s not to love, she’s got perky tits.
First, let’s discuss Modern Alternative Mama. From the ‘about’ section of their website. As usual, their statements in italics, mine not…
We believe in the strength of families, and the importance of the family unit.
-As opposed to my family of scientists who eat conventionally grown vegetables and go to real doctors and… we love our parents too. I even love my cousins. (Hi Allison! Hi Monique!)
We believe that adults are intelligent and capable of thinking for themselves. We believe that parents are the best people to make decisions about their child’s health, education, and other needs.
-Get an 1850s encyclopedia on anatomy, a butcher’s knife, alcohol, and the anbesol ready when you need surgery, you get guess work next time you need surgery, parents know best!
We encourage and support parents in doing their own research and coming to their own conclusions. We protect this as a safe community for people, no matter what they decide. We advocate for parents to have the legal right to come to their own conclusions and make their own decisions.
-Research according to them is better out of Google U than out of a real lab.
We do not allow bullying or rudeness.
-Nope, just not bringing your kids to the doctor. That’s cool.
We provide information, advocacy, and support to those who are looking to expand their knowledge on natural living.
-Define ‘information.’ And ‘natural,’ while you’re at it.
They dabble in finance, health, “natural” pregnancy, recipes, and a diet plan called the GAPS diet. It’s a diet that’s supposed to help heal autism, ADD, and a variety of other ailments by cutting out grains. They scoff at the gluten free diet, think all things processed and chemical are going to hurt you, and of course, they’re anti-vax.
With all that in mind, their blog entry is not surprisingly entitled “Rejecting Modern Science.”
I asked my readers to stand by in case I had an aneurysm while writing this.
“I find that a lot of modern scientists have blinders on, and cling just as strongly to beliefs that don’t make any sense as they say we — religious people — do. “
-First, this is not the anti-religion blog. But let’s be clear, in science we don’t cling to any beliefs. We start with a hypothesis and ask the question “is this true or is this not true?” Experiments are designed to test the validity of our hypothesis. Sometimes our hypothesis are proven true, sometimes they are proven invalid. And we cling to nothing, only to the outcome of the experiment. You are only as good as your data, and falsifying data is the easiest way to get your career handed to you.
Just ask Dr. Andrew Wakefield about that one.
“I believe that trauma medicine is great. If we had a car accident and had horrible injuries, I’d be in the hospital getting stitched up. I think our trauma doctors do an awesome job of saving people who otherwise surely would have died, and experienced great pain. I also believe in the scientific method in general — that we can look at an issue openly and examine the evidence to come to a true conclusion.”
-Wait, so just trauma is okay? Look up what people used to die from most commonly in the civil war, pre-modern evil science… The top causes of death? Infection and diarrhea. Yeah, modern trauma unit is great. But aren’t all those wonderful drugs that we have that treat infections, dysentary, nerve pain, and allow us to conduct surgery without someone going into shock just as wonderful?
Apparently not if you’re a sanctimonious mommy blogger.
I screamed ‘fuck’ at the screen about twelve times while debunking the following paragraph.
“They have dogmatic beliefs in drugs, vaccines, and interventions.”
-‘Beliefs’ apply to things that you don’t have evidence for.
“They have overly simplistic explanations for the way the human body works, and they don’t look for reasons WHY or for underlying causes.”
Yeah, overly symplistic and not looking for ‘why.’ That’s why we’re not doing any research and trying to go back to the ‘good old days’ before vaccines and modern plumbing when all we had was willow bark and bandaids and we just had mother’s intuition.
NO WAIT THAT’S YOU.
“They only observe and assume.”
-Yep, scientists and doctors don’t run tests. The EPA doesn’t demand reports. The FDA and the USDA doesn’t have strict guidelines for how those reports have to be done. All we do is assume, guys. It’s just guesswork and a white coat.
I actually just lick the pesticides, guess on if it’s going to kill someone, and go back to watching porn at my desk.*
*=not actually what I do.
Research is conducted in such a way as to provide the expected answer most of the time.
-I’ve already covered this, but no. Nein, no, non, and fuck no. Have I been in any way unclear?
This is then called peer-reviewed research and is published in medical journals, and is the foundation for “evidence-based medicine,” which I entirely reject.
-Good to know. Let a doctor know when you come down with an actual scary disease, like lupus or cluster headaches. When you’re really in pain, try treating with your essential oils. It’s a lot easier to be self-righteous about your holier than thou approach to life and pretend you have all the answers when you’ve never had to rely on modern medicine.
Using these two phrases, “peer-reviewed medical journals” and “evidence-based medicine,” dogmatic scientists try to make people like me look like we are stark raving lunatics with no knowledge or brain function whatsoever.
-Sometimes you do happen upon fish in a barrel.
“It is common for people to believe that injecting poison (i.e. vaccines) into themselves will prevent disease…but it is not normal!”
-Well once upon a time, to keep people alive after the polio virus struck, it was common to find them half paralyzed living in an iron lung, but do we want that to become the new normal again?
You are spoiled with the luxury of never having seen small pox and probably never having seen polio.
“Doctors and researchers believe that the way they practice medicine must be correct because it is “evidence-based.”
-Wait, earlier wasn’t the complaint that they made assumptions? Are they making assumptions or are they basing things in evidence? You have to choose one.
“What about the new GMO (genetically modified organisms) food, or irradiated food? Or even pasteurized milk? Scientists claim it is nearly equivalent to fresh, non-GMO food because by all the basic measures they use — vitamin and mineral content, mostly — it is basically the same, and it also looks the same. But when testing for enzymes, phytonutrients, amino acids, etc. it becomes clear that it is NOT the same.”
-Actually… it’s the same. Nice try. This is just plain old wrong.
“As far as “peer reviewed” studies, it is easy to get the answer you want when you word your question a specific way. It is also easy if you exclude people who are “anomalies,” in that they have several side effects.”
-This is why we have the peer review process, to stop people from publishing studies with bad data.
“I don’t believe that they are asking the right questions. I don’t believe they are seeking the best answers. Many doctors think they can intervene and do a better job than God. They think that by giving children vaccines and antibiotics and practicing “preventative” care, they can make a child healthier than they were at birth.”
Again, not trying to stomp on the religion thing, but nature is the number one cause of a cruel and painful death. We see more cancer and ‘old age’ diseases now because people aren’t dying of opportunistic infections, diarrhea, child birth, getting kicked in the head by a horse at the farm, and VACCINE PREVENTABLE ILLNESSES.
…Excuse me where was I? Sorry, I blacked out there for a moment.
Perhaps they feel bad sending parents home with a prescription for extra vitamin D and C and lots of chicken soup. Perhaps they feel the need to do something — give an antibiotic, give vaccines to try to prevent suffering. This desire to help is admirable if misguided. Some, however, are not so innocent. Some are concerned with profits.
-How much revenue do you get from the ads on your ‘all natural organic’ page, lady?
Yeah, no profit motive there. I’m sure.
“Next time someone tells you that you should fall in line because this is “evidence based medicine” and the results are published in “peer reviewed journals,” tell them just how little faith you have in these, and exactly why. Instead, tell them you believe God created us perfectly and we don’t need these interventions in almost any case to continue to be perfect.”
Here is why I tell people that alternative medicine bullshit is dangerous. When you’ve got a 104* fever, you’re hallucinating and have terrible pain and you have this nutbag telling you that modern medicine is wrong and that you’re just perfect and your body is going to heal itself, someone is going to get killed by believing that they should stay home and put essential oils on their socks instead of going to see a real medical professional. These people are not just trying to sell a few recipes with almond flour, they influence people into not seeking medical help that could actually save them in an emergency because they’ve never seen things like vaccine preventable illnesses or some of the scarier illnesses. And there are a lot of very scary illnesses out there that a lot of doctors have trained very hard to be able to save you from, you should let them save you.
And though it might be possible, it’s highly improbable that they posted this using smoke signals and a trained monkey. Modern science, i.e. a shiny new MacBook, and all that money from ads on the side of her site? May have been involved.
Don’t hate on modern science. It’s one of few things that has consistently made life better for all of humanity.
And besides, have you seen the ass on modern science? She’s a babe.
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