Fighting FOIA with Funny: LOLcats for Folta

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As we’ve mentioned, Vani Hari has once again hit Kevin Folta with a FOIA request for any emails containing the names Yvette Guinevere (and Yvette d’Entremont, my aren’t we thorough?), Kavin Senapathy, Vance Crowe, Joe Schwarcz, Marc Draco, and Mark Alsip. If you’ve spoken out about her or if it’s a name she’s vaguely aware of but she clearly doesn’t understand how their job works (kinda like with chemicals), she wants to see your emails.

You can’t get out of a FOIA request. FOIA can be used for good in some cases, but in this case, it’s being abused. She’s hunting for any quotes that can be taken out of context to make it look like that there were nefarious intentions in the conversations back and forth between Folta and other people who spoke out against her, either in academia or as private citizens. As Kevin Folta is the only one of us who can be hit with a FOIA request (as he is a public employee), she’s hunting for any mention of our names or any emails he sent to us.

So I’m telling you… definitely, ahem… don’t email him. (His email address is Kfolta@ufl.edu).

And definitely don’t put “Vani Babe Monsanto” in the subject line. Because Kevin has a filter for things like that. For spam or something. Ahem.

And DEFINITELY don’t send funny pictures of cats to Kevin Folta at kfolta@ufl.edu.

And if you do all of that, you should obviously not mention my first and last name in the emails of cat pictures to kfolta@ufl.edu so that it will appear in the FOIA request. Because if you do that, it will cost Vani 15 cents per page when she gets all of these emails.

And I mean, why would we do something to cost Vani time and money when she’s costing Kevin Folta time and money? I mean, that would show the corruption, abuse, and inadequate regulations of the FOIA system while simultaneously flooding Kevin with funny pictures and making Vani pay extra money for something she goddamn asked for.

So clearly don’t send cat pictures to Dr. Kevin Folta at Kfolta@ufl.edu. We’re (not exactly) more mature than that.

My friend Dan over at A Science Enthusiast  even set up a contact form for you to totally not send cat pictures to Kevin Folta

(Do not) email Kevin Folta Cat Pictures

So what are you waiting for? The internet is for porn, arguing about inconsequential shit, and funny pictures of cats. If you’re not doing the first two, shouldn’t you be emailing a funny picture of a cat to Kevin Folta at kfolta@ufl.edu?

-SciBabe.

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26 Comments

  1. Would that I still had my old DoD e-mail address. We routinely slapped an FOUO on everything, making it FOI proof.
    Well, that or made the message classified, never to see the light of day again. After all, unclassified information, in aggregate, can become classified.
    Usually, as extremely, deadly dull and boring.
    But, nothing delighted us more than to stamp a big “request denied for reasons of national security” on an FOI request.
    Well, save for when a congresscritter made the request, those were replied to on the classified networks, just to force them to use their house SCIF.

    On a more serious note, why not also send genetic sequences, very long sequences, taking up many pages? Vani, Vani pages of sequences…
    Although, I will be getting a DHS account soon, I could always send an FOUO e-mail of a cat from that account, then have the FOI request denied for national security reasons… 🙂
    Or worse, printed with the contents redacted in creative ways.
    Or even more evil, use the appropriate keywords, which then trigger various agencies interviewing when she inquires about those classified keywords.

  2. I just got a new cat 3 weeks ago I definitely have not taken hundreds of pictures of her. I definitely do not have any pictures of the cats whose existence on this earth is ended either.
    If I run out of my nonexistent cat pics, I can also send my nonexistent dog pics.
    If Vani complains about these pics, she’s a cat hating monster… Right?

  3. Pictures of random stuff you’ve taken over the years, that fills your SD cards.. Hm. I have over 20 years of CDs filled with random pictures here & there, from vacations, LOTS of cats, just the last 3 vacations, I have over 3,000 pictures just from those. I wonder if she’d like to see the “mind your head” sign above the tiny door opening to where we stayed in Stow on the Wold? Pictures of food also.

  4. I’m afraid I have to protest at this travesty of injustice. I mean what the heck happens when you call a cat to come over to you? Nothing, usually. If you’re lucky, they take a message and get back with you.

    Meanwhile, the noble dog comes running, happy you called, ready to stand there and be cute, be petted, be a faithful, loyal creature who’s happy just to be hanging out with you.

    Furthermore, abusing this obviously lopsided travesty of injustice by sending Kevin cat pictures just to waste the time and money of someone who wastes Kevin’s time and the public’s money is reprehensible.

    If this isn’t taken care of, and the noble dog is not better represented around here, I will be forced to take action! I hear there’s a really good looking geologist who’s not only blogging on the troof machine, err, I mean the internet, but tells dirty jokes rumored to be the funniest on the net. Ahem.

    al

  5. Genius idea, Wzrd. I didn’t just create an anonymous Monsantoshill email address, go to http://www.bioinformatics.org/sms2/random_dna.html and create random DNA sequence tens of thousands of characters long – so big that the email came to over a megabyte – and drop the search terms Vani’s looking for into random points (and a message to her about her wasting Kevin’s time) and then send it to her address.

    No. That would be very childish and very silly.

    Ahem.

  6. I don’t want to send a 300 page email with nothing but Lorem Ipsum, and certain words replaced with Yvette and d’Entremont.

  7. Well, DNA sequences aren’t exactly words! :p But why only memes? Surely hundreds and hundreds of pages of text at 15 cents per page is just as effective?

  8. I used to work for the government. We received email FOIA requests all the time. Actually quite easy to dodge if you know your IT system and have management support (wink and nod). Then the agency FOIA coordinator can honestly tell the requestor (or a judge) that is all the information on our servers.

  9. @dave, yeah, we used to routinely reply, “request denied, the information requested is classified”.
    Usually, it was classified as Unclassified, For Official Use Only, which is a classification level. 😉
    The rest of the time, it was at a higher classification level, which the data owner was not about to declassify.

  10. So…one should not put together a script to send an email that attaches a random meme with a subject line chosen from a specific list to Dr Folta with a frequency of once per 60-75 minutes then?

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