“Give me your money so they can’t take it.”

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So #foodbabe recently launched her diet plan. It will come as no surprise to you, #sciencebabeshills, that I have a problem with this. I found her salesmanship tactics insulting and, as usual, a transparent attempt to make money. Her comments in quotes and italics, mine, um, not. Nothing being taken out of context. Thanks to Karen for posting this over on Banned By Food Babe.

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“We are being duped and conned at every turn.”

You mean like right now?

Also… we?

“It’s time to stop outsourcing our health to the food industry and take back control.”

You have the word ‘food’ in your corporation title and you want people to give you their money for an eating guide.

“Witnessing so many transformations from eating a typical American diet to this new way of life, gives me even more confirmation that quitting my full-time job to dedicate my life to helping others live in this over-processed food world was the best decision I’ve ever made.”

Which you could only do because you married a rich guy. And because a bunch of corporations (organic companies are corporations too, stop hating) sponsor you.

“Yes, we’ve gotten big companies to change their ingredients together, and that’s totally worth it, but these stories below from real people like you keep me going the strongest and will make the biggest impact on the food industry in the long run!”

Keep me going the strongest = make my wallet bigger.

Biggest impact on the food industry = turn me into an “adviser” for more companies after I’ve launched another campaign based on my poor understanding of science.”

“I know that many of you don’t know where to start, or even how to cook (believe me, I’ve been there). I’ve figured out how to navigate this over-processed food world and I’m going to show you how to do it with ease, peace of mind and an easy-to-follow plan.”

So you start by insulting your readers intelligence? That’s so fucking shitty.

It’s a confusing world, ONLY I HAVE THE ANSWERS! PAY ME INSTEAD OF PAYING THEM!

“The Food Babe Eating Guide is a program will help you opt out of this broken system and finally break free from the grips of the food industry. We can’t control what they are doing to our food, but we can control what we put in our mouths everyday.”

Lady, I hate to break it to you, but if you’re asking for peoples’ money… you are the food industry.

“For only $119.88”

Oh… only. You know, for that much money, my Mom and I both get our cell phone service every month. And that has a robot that communicates with satellites in space.

“(that’s an investment of $9.99 a month!) you’ll have our full support for an entire year plus a Starter Guide, a new Monthly Eating Guide each month, and all bonus material – hundreds of pages of knowledge at your finger tips INSTANTLY. You can ask us anything, anytime you like.”

How much money is in your bank account? How many courses have you taken on toxicology? Do you have a problem duping people out of their cash? Do you understand dose dependency? Have you heard of ‘orthorexia?’

“Living an organic lifestyle is not always easy – but can be with these guides and the help from my team.”

It’s also elitist and has zero health effects. Zero.

“Sending you much love,”

Waiting for the checks to roll in.

“P.S. Remember the 3 free bonuses (valued at $180) are going away at Midnight tonight and won’t be available for free any longer. Next week I’m getting back to investigating, so stay tuned. I am so fired up at what I am discovering and can’t wait to share it with you.”

Back to investigating = back to finding the next company to hold hostage with my lack of understanding of science.

Look, I lost 90lbs a few years ago. It wasn’t without effort, but I also didn’t give anybody money for a diet plan. I ran a few marathons and ate less processed food. A cupcake every once in a while won’t kill you, but it’s a dense source of calories. Stick to the outer aisles of the grocery store, don’t drink your calories, have a lot of vegetables, don’t have a lot of processed food and exercise 4-6 times per week. My weight has stayed stable for a while now.

Be clear, anytime someone starts by appealing to you by saying that you’re not smart enough to see that an industry is confusing and that only they, who is no smarter and no more educated than you, has all the answers? They’re both insulting your intelligence and selling you something.

And what they’re selling is bullshit.

-Science Babe.

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