The Weekly Woo: Modern Alternative Mama Drama

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We’ve had a big week and tomorrow I’m going to take somewhat of a breather from posting. I say that now, but I’ll probably still end up re-posting at least three articles on Rob Schneider, one article on Food Babe’s bullshit, and at least one meme on why essential oils really, truly don’t cure cancer.

Earlier this week this article surfaced:

http://www.modernalternativemama.com/blog/2009/11/4/rejecting-modern-science.html#.VCX8hhajNYq

We collectively had a bit of an aneurysm. Because we love modern science, right? And what’s not to love, she’s got perky tits.

First, let’s discuss Modern Alternative Mama. From the ‘about’ section of their website. As usual, their statements in italics, mine not…

We believe in the strength of families, and the importance of the family unit.

-As opposed to my family of scientists who eat conventionally grown vegetables and go to real doctors and… we love our parents too. I even love my cousins. (Hi Allison! Hi Monique!)

We believe that adults are intelligent and capable of thinking for themselves.  We believe that parents are the best people to make decisions about their child’s health, education, and other needs.

-Get an 1850s encyclopedia on anatomy, a butcher’s knife, alcohol, and the anbesol ready when you need surgery, you get guess work next time you need surgery, parents know best!

We encourage and support parents in doing their own research and coming to their own conclusions.  We protect this as a safe community for people, no matter what they decide.  We advocate for parents to have the legal right to come to their own conclusions and make their own decisions.

-Research according to them is better out of Google U than out of a real lab.

We do not allow bullying or rudeness.

-Nope, just not bringing your kids to the doctor. That’s cool.

We provide information, advocacy, and support to those who are looking to expand their knowledge on natural living.

-Define ‘information.’ And ‘natural,’ while you’re at it.

They dabble in finance, health, “natural” pregnancy, recipes, and a diet plan called the GAPS diet. It’s a diet that’s supposed to help heal autism, ADD, and a variety of other ailments by cutting out grains. They scoff at the gluten free diet, think all things processed and chemical are going to hurt you, and of course, they’re anti-vax.

With all that in mind, their blog entry is not surprisingly entitled “Rejecting Modern Science.”

I asked my readers to stand by in case I had an aneurysm while writing this.

I find that a lot of modern scientists have blinders on, and cling just as strongly to beliefs that don’t make any sense as they say we — religious people — do.

-First, this is not the anti-religion blog. But let’s be clear, in science we don’t cling to any beliefs. We start with a hypothesis and ask the question “is this true or is this not true?” Experiments are designed to test the validity of our hypothesis. Sometimes our hypothesis are proven true, sometimes they are proven invalid. And we cling to nothing, only to the outcome of the experiment. You are only as good as your data, and falsifying data is the easiest way to get your career handed to you.

Just ask Dr. Andrew Wakefield about that one.

I believe that trauma medicine is great. If we had a car accident and had horrible injuries, I’d be in the hospital getting stitched up. I think our trauma doctors do an awesome job of saving people who otherwise surely would have died, and experienced great pain. I also believe in the scientific method in general — that we can look at an issue openly and examine the evidence to come to a true conclusion.”

-Wait, so just trauma is okay? Look up what people used to die from most commonly in the civil war, pre-modern evil science… The top causes of death? Infection and diarrhea. Yeah, modern trauma unit is great. But aren’t all those wonderful drugs that we have that treat infections, dysentary, nerve pain, and allow us to conduct surgery without someone going into shock just as wonderful?

Apparently not if you’re a sanctimonious mommy blogger.

I screamed ‘fuck’ at the screen about twelve times while debunking the following paragraph.

“They have dogmatic beliefs in drugs, vaccines, and interventions.”

-‘Beliefs’ apply to things that you don’t have evidence for.

They have overly simplistic explanations for the way the human body works, and they don’t look for reasons WHY or for underlying causes.”

-Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Yeah, overly symplistic and not looking for ‘why.’ That’s why we’re not doing any research and trying to go back to the ‘good old days’ before vaccines and modern plumbing when all we had was willow bark and bandaids and we just had mother’s intuition.

NO WAIT THAT’S YOU.

They only observe and assume.”

-Yep, scientists and doctors don’t run tests. The EPA doesn’t demand reports. The FDA and the USDA doesn’t have strict guidelines for how those reports have to be done. All we do is assume, guys. It’s just guesswork and a white coat.

I actually just lick the pesticides, guess on if it’s going to kill someone, and go back to watching porn at my desk.*

*=not actually what I do.

Research is conducted in such a way as to provide the expected answer most of the time.

-I’ve already covered this, but no. Nein, no, non, and fuck no. Have I been in any way unclear?

This is then called peer-reviewed research and is published in medical journals, and is the foundation for “evidence-based medicine,” which I entirely reject.

-Good to know. Let a doctor know when you come down with an actual scary disease, like lupus or cluster headaches. When you’re really in pain, try treating with your essential oils. It’s a lot easier to be self-righteous about your holier than thou approach to life and pretend you have all the answers when you’ve never had to rely on modern medicine.

Using these two phrases, “peer-reviewed medical journals” and “evidence-based medicine,” dogmatic scientists try to make people like me look like we are stark raving lunatics with no knowledge or brain function whatsoever.

-Sometimes you do happen upon fish in a barrel.

It is common for people to believe that injecting poison (i.e. vaccines) into themselves will prevent disease…but it is not normal!”

-Well once upon a time, to keep people alive after the polio virus struck, it was common to find them half paralyzed living in an iron lung, but do we want that to become the new normal again?

You are spoiled with the luxury of never having seen small pox and probably never having seen polio.

Doctors and researchers believe that the way they practice medicine must be correct because it is “evidence-based.”

-Wait, earlier wasn’t the complaint that they made assumptions? Are they making assumptions or are they basing things in evidence? You have to choose one.

What about the new GMO (genetically modified organisms) food, or irradiated food? Or even pasteurized milk? Scientists claim it is nearly equivalent to fresh, non-GMO food because by all the basic measures they use — vitamin and mineral content, mostly — it is basically the same, and it also looks the same. But when testing for enzymes, phytonutrients, amino acids, etc. it becomes clear that it is NOT the same.”

-Actually… it’s the same. Nice try. This is just plain old wrong.

As far as “peer reviewed” studies, it is easy to get the answer you want when you word your question a specific way. It is also easy if you exclude people who are “anomalies,” in that they have several side effects.”

-This is why we have the peer review process, to stop people from publishing studies with bad data.

I don’t believe that they are asking the right questions. I don’t believe they are seeking the best answers. Many doctors think they can intervene and do a better job than God. They think that by giving children vaccines and antibiotics and practicing “preventative” care, they can make a child healthier than they were at birth.”

Again, not trying to stomp on the religion thing, but nature is the number one cause of a cruel and painful death. We see more cancer and ‘old age’ diseases now because people aren’t dying of opportunistic infections, diarrhea, child birth, getting kicked in the head by a horse at the farm, and VACCINE PREVENTABLE ILLNESSES.

…Excuse me where was I? Sorry, I blacked out there for a moment.

Perhaps they feel bad sending parents home with a prescription for extra vitamin D and C and lots of chicken soup. Perhaps they feel the need to do something — give an antibiotic, give vaccines to try to prevent suffering. This desire to help is admirable if misguided. Some, however, are not so innocent. Some are concerned with profits.

-How much revenue do you get from the ads on your ‘all natural organic’ page, lady?

Yeah, no profit motive there. I’m sure.

Next time someone tells you that you should fall in line because this is “evidence based medicine” and the results are published in “peer reviewed journals,” tell them just how little faith you have in these, and exactly why. Instead, tell them you believe God created us perfectly and we don’t need these interventions in almost any case to continue to be perfect.”

Here is why I tell people that alternative medicine bullshit is dangerous. When you’ve got a 104* fever, you’re hallucinating and have terrible pain and you have this nutbag telling you that modern medicine is wrong and that you’re just perfect and your body is going to heal itself, someone is going to get killed by believing that they should stay home and put essential oils on their socks instead of going to see a real medical professional. These people are not just trying to sell a few recipes with almond flour, they influence people into not seeking medical help that could actually save them in an emergency because they’ve never seen things like vaccine preventable illnesses or some of the scarier illnesses. And there are a lot of very scary illnesses out there that a lot of doctors have trained very hard to be able to save you from, you should let them save you.

And though it might be possible, it’s highly improbable that they posted this using smoke signals and a trained monkey. Modern science, i.e. a shiny new MacBook, and all that money from ads on the side of her site? May have been involved.

Don’t hate on modern science. It’s one of few things that has consistently made life better for all of humanity.

And besides, have you seen the ass on modern science? She’s a babe.

-Science Babe

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12 Comments

  1. I have a fairly strong faith in God and my own religion. Part of my faith centers around all of us having God-given strengths and talents. For some people, those strengths and talents lie in their intelligence and their ability as scientists to discover or refine medications that help ease or cure disease symptoms. God also gave my doctor the intelligence and the determination to finish med school, internship and whatever other stuff he had to do in order to be a board-certified internist.

    I’m just saying…maybe “God will provide” means “God gave me the medication and a person who knows how to prescribe it.”

    • I know this article is old but as a fellow religious person who also is totally nuts about cosmology, science, and the wonders of modern medicine, it’s nice to know there are others like me out there. I couldn’t agree more and it reminds me of this old joke… a man was in an area where it was flooding very badly. A person drove up in a truck and told him to get in so he could evacuate to safety. The man said no, and that God would provide. So the truck drove off and the flood waters got higher. So a boat came up and the people on board told him to get on board so he would be safe, and the man sent them away, telling them “God will provide for me.” The water was now almost over the roof of his house and the situation was getting dire. A helicopter with a rescue team appeared over head and they threw down a rope to the man, yelling at him to take it so they could lift him to safety. He ignored the rope and yelled back, “No thank you, God will provide.” So they flew off to help other people. Eventually the flood waters got so high he was swept into it, where he drowned and died. The man’s soul entered heaven where he was greeted by God. “God, I trusted you to provide for me, why did you let me drown?” the man asked. God replied, “I sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter trying to save you, what more did you want?”

    • My mom is religious, and that’s exactly her stance on Religion vs. Medicine–that someone had to give members of humanity their ability to think, reason, and heal themselves with medicine. Dialysis and heart surgery? Gifts from God. Her kids were vaccinated, she is a strong believer in Science, and she’s pro-choice…she just also goes to Church on Sundays, and prays too.

  2. As a scientist and a mother, I must say the absolute worst thing about other kids are their parents-parents such as these anyway.

    My daughter is only 4 months old and already I have come to the conclusion that I can’t deal with the parents who slap pseudo-scientific choking hazards (amber teething necklaces) on their infants without any hesitation, but proclaim that vaccines are ineffective, contain microchips, and are just a way for big pharma to inject autism into their kids. And that’s just vaccines!

    I cannot stand these mothers who swear that breast milk is a cure all. I kid you not, on a mother (well, a “mama” one, they like that term a lot for some reason), stated that the best way to clear a runny nose was to “just spray some breast milk up there”–WHAT IS THAT?!

    Anyways. I think the point is that there’s something that clicks in their head once they become a mom and their crazy beliefs get even intense. I just wish they came with warning labels so I can know which ones to keep my kid away from until she is old enough to be fully vaccinated!

    Love your blog!

    • Yes, I see the breastmilk as a cure-all on many websites and FB pages/comments. It didn’t cure anything in the 1800s when it was one of the few things that people could use to further health of infants.

  3. It is really clear to me that disability has no place in her “God created us perfectly” scheme. If this were so, then does that mean accommodating disability is also unnecessary? Many disabled people have medical issues that come with their disability. Herbs are not going to help my hearing loss-related neurological problems, for example. Clearly from what her husband has posted on her site, they think that they are “genetically superior”. To quote him, “no genetic defects in our family line”. Probably because they are Christians so God isn’t going to “punish” them with a disabled child. And if they DO have a disabled child, you can bet that child is not going to get the help it needs, especially since she let her infant suffer with a broken arm for a week. Disability to people like these is a “defect” and an imperfection.

  4. [quote]Using these two phrases, “peer-reviewed medical journals” and “evidence-based medicine,” dogmatic scientists try to make people like me look like we are stark raving lunatics with no knowledge or brain function whatsoever.[/quote]

    If the shoe fits…..

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