Daily MOS: The Australian Suicide Shrub
Unplanned run-ins have driven some past the edge of desperation. One horrifying story involves a man using the leaf for toilet paper.
Month: June 2021
Daily MOS: Stanislav Petrov, The World’s Reluctant Hero
All Petrov had to do was follow orders and call up the chain of command that this was happening. Nuclear retaliation from the USSR would almost certainly ensue.
Daily MOS: Tsar Bomba, the Nuke That Scraped Heaven
The world has not since seen a nuclear blast larger than the one Andrei Sakharov created, and went on to spend his last decades fighting.
Daily MOS: The Piglet Squid
Millions of years of evolution plastered smiles on their faces, rendered prehensile tentacles into boy band hair, and left them so goddamn naked that they’re translucent.
Daily MOS: Janet Parker & The Last Case Of Smallpox
Since she’d been vaccinated for smallpox and there was simply nobody on the fucking planet who could have coughed smallpox on her, doctors diagnosed her with chickenpox… But she’d also had chickenpox.
Daily MOS: The Lab Leak Hypothesis, Parts 1&2
For the most part, a coronavirus in a bat stays there, not doing anything. At least not until the bat flies mouth or ass first into something interesting. Kinda like all of us with our HPV infections.
Daily MOS: The Life and Times Of Luminiferous Aether
Aether somehow consisted of invisible solid particles that needed to be simultaneously completely rigid to transport light but a fluid to allow solids to move through it. Aether was whatever it needed to be depending on the last physicist torturing it.
Daily MOS: Ivan Ivanov and the Humanzees
Because while the hot sperm is flying, other than a sense of ethics and a fear of incurring God’s wrath, what’s stopping you from making some human-primate hybrids? Humanzees, if you will.
Daily MOS: The Friendly Capybara
Sometime in the 1700s, the Vatican decided, “fuck it, the capybara’s a fish. God called up on the hotline and said it can swim, so, obviously. Oh yeah, ditto the beaver. Pope, out.”
Daily MOS: Intermittent Fasting
When you eat your food in a small window of time, there’s a quantum flux in the food-mouth window, and the calories are sucked into the vacuum of space.