MOS: Cancer Survival Rates
It’s not like there are any “good” types of cancers, but some are higher up on the danger mutant list than others.
HEALTH
MOS: Activated Charcoal
So because of the overblown idea that this stuff can adsorp any and all nebulous toxins, people are brushing their teeth with it and drinking health elixirs made of it and probably shoving charcoal suppositories… where suppositories go.
MOS: The 1904 Olympic Marathon
At eighteen miles, Hicks was given brandy, egg whites, and one milligram of strychnine. Which revived him for a time, but he needed another dose four miles later.
MOS: Mosquito Magnets
Last year, my legs turned into a constellation map of mosquito bites. My roommate escaped relatively unscathed. So why are these Cretaceous era nopes so determined to get a taste of… this?
MOS: Mastitis
And when any of my body parts commit mutiny, I can’t help but milk that shit for content.
(Uh, a bit more literally than usual this time).
MOS: Ultra-Processed Food
I wouldn’t have an issue with this whole absurdity if the advice was just “maybe watch your added sugar and fat intake because those pack on calories quickly.”
MOS: Mad Men & Stimulants
What exactly are the effects of a vitamin B12 shot? It treats a vitamin B12 deficiency.
MOS: The Female Orgasm
Throughout the species, there are probably about as many ways to orgasm as there are erogenous zones in and on a woman’s body.
MOS: Spinal Cocaine
Along with reducing fatigue, it also suppresses appetite, manages altitude sickness, and makes you really want to talk about your screenplay at 4am.
MOS: The Human Radiation Experiments
A eugenicist superintendent at a school in Massachusetts approved feeding lightly radioactive oatmeal to his mentally disabled students. But they took the kids to some Red Sox games, so.