The “good old days were bullshit,” and I’m not sure how that’s even a question. Because as a 37 year old in the year of our Lord 2021, I have never had a tampon made of papyrus, crocodile dung, or rock salt.
Today’s Moment of Science… a brief history of things we’ve shoved in our hoo-hahs.
The earliest recorded vaginal suppositories were closer to pessaries than what we think of as a tampon. Some were thought to be used as birth control. Egyptians braved ahead into uncharted fuckery using elephant and crocodile dung. In Rome, they used acacia soaked lint packets. Some of the pessaries for medical treatments included wool soaked in goose fat, coriander, and sea onion.
Y’all can’t tell me nobody attempted to use that in an ancient sourdough starter.
A rock salt pessary was recorded in the fourth century in India. Though it reportedly made for a successful spermicide, I’m glad options for gynecological health have advanced past ‘shove a rock in your pussy.’ Well, outside of Gwyneth Paltrow’s website.
They eventually figured out that periods would still suck but they’d be a bit less fucking messy with the same “stick something up there” method that had been used for birth control. Early attempts at tampons by the ancient Egyptians included papyrus and grass. Romans used cotton and wool. Moss, animal skin, paper, vegetable fibers, and sponges also had their day.
The term ‘tampon’ only really appeared for the first time in the mid-1800s. It’s derived from the french ‘tampion,’ roughly meaning ‘plug,’ or ‘stopper.’ Tampons around the turn of the century were tightly wound wool with a string tied in the middle for removal, packed with the chemicals carbolic and thymol as an antiseptic. Gertrude Tendrich patented an early tampon design in 1931, branding it Tampax.
O.B. tampons came on the market later, and though it’s commonly thought that it stands for “obstetrician,” it’s short for the German ohne binde, meaning “without (sanitary) napkins.” It’s also without an applicator. Along those lines, as Tampax was developed first in the US and O.B. in Europe, women have stayed loyal to their “local” products for decades. Women in Europe say they prefer O.B., digitally inserted tampons, for hygiene reasons, and women in the US tend to cite their preference for applicator tampons for the same reasons. There’s no major evidence or metric supporting that one is better than the other.
So we have multiple types of tampons now, but is that good enough? Of course not. As with any product, the question was asked, “how can we make it more badass?” Even with goddamn tampons.
Cue the darkest day in tampon history. (I haven’t decided if it’s worse than the crocodile dung, mainly because I haven’t smelled either.)
The Rely tampon, an ultra-absorbent creation composed partially of the synthetic fiber carboxymethylcellulose (CMC), could be filed under “seemed like a great idea at the time.” In clinical testing, it was safe. CMC was also known to be safe in food products. It was advertised as so absorbent it “even absorbed the worry.” It was said that some women might be able to wear it for their entire period.
Your automatic thought upon thinking of using a tampon for an entire menstrual cycle is likely “HOLY MOTHER OF TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME!”
1974 was a different time. A dumber time.
If you ask anyone who’s read the side of a tampon box what toxic shock syndrome is, they’ve at least heard of TSS. In 1974, when Rely was being researched and developed, TSS hadn’t been identified yet. The year that Rely hit the market in 1978, TSS was identified. Initially it wasn’t linked to tampons. By 1980, after a spate of illnesses, the link between TSS and tampon usage was confirmed. The risk in Rely tampons was greatly heightened specifically because of that ultra-absorbent material, CMC. Unlike cotton it made a cozy breeding ground for the staph bacteria that caused toxic shock syndrome.
Rely (and other ultra-absorbent tampons) were pulled from the market. Though the warnings on the boxes today mainly warn about high absorbency, the materials in today’s tampons are safe as long as they’re worn for the recommended length of time.
Now there are a couple of “all natural” tampon brands. Their schtick is largely implying to consumers that other tampons have mysterious and unknowable junk in them that’s gonna fuck up your bits.
Which is pretty much bullshit. Tampons are now classified as medical devices, there are strict testing protocols, and as for what’s in all tampons on the market? Cotton. Lots of fucking cotton. Really goddamn safe for your vagina cotton.
Wake me when they revive the crocodile dung pessary.
This has been your daily Moment of Science, suggesting that if anyone is telling you to shove an all natural anything up your twat, it should involve safewords, and it had better come fully lubed.
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to my reading a lot of “sanitary “devices where developed after WW1 because of the cotton wadding industry that had developed for first aid looking for markets for their products