We did this once before, it was only natural we’d pinch off another.
Today’s Moment of Science… Fectacular science, number two.
Urohidrosis is an adaptation some birds have that involves shitting on their dinosaur legs. Birds are equipped with a cloaca, a single opening for reproduction and redecorating your car. Their viscous white and green droppings are a mixture of urine and feces. When the urine component of this unholy paint bomb dries, much like sweat it acts as a cooling mechanism. Storks use the ample real estate on their legs to regulate their temperature this way. Over time it can stain their legs white, and drawbacks include being covered in birdshit.
Several primate species engage in the intentional misplacement of their excrement.
(Er, poo flinging.)
While it’s been observed as a way to show aggression, it also seems to occur more often in captivity than in the wild. This might indicate that it’s linked to stress, boredom, or an attempt to land a reality show.
When you think of naturally processed fibers, what comes to mind? Whatever it is, it probably wasn’t elephant crap. The herbivores eat about 300 lbs of food a day. Though some of it’s leafy green, a lot of their diet comes from twigs, bark, and small to mid-sized bits of tree. After being digested via bacterial fermentation, the hunks of forest that couldn’t be used for energy arrive ringside broken down into cellulose fibers. Yes, these majestic pachyderms produce “spectacular” farts along with 200lbs a day of readily processed raw materials for paper.
There’s a thriving industry of elephant poop paper. And you thought you were serious about recycling.
They say the hoatzin, a colorful bird from South America, smells like bullshit. A fussy eater, its diet is primarily composed of leaves that need a bit of work to break down. An unusually long digestive process utilizing fermentation tackles the job. This produces a veritable soup of malodorous gasses. It’s not clear if the bird’s poop smells any worse than the manure smell of the stinking pheasant itself.
The animal kingdom’s most prodigious pooper, blue whales can drop up to 200 liters of waste at a time. They typically swim to the surface for the cetacean equivalent of a squatty potty effect, reducing the pressure off their bowels. Pooing near the surface also has the advantage of feeding phytoplankton, which in turn feeds krill, i.e. whale yummies. From their daily sixteen tons of krill diet comes their immense role in cycling iron through the ocean.
The circle of life as seen in blue whale floaters, folks.
Against an Antarctic background, patches of emperor penguin dung can be seen from the space station. As much as ‘shitstains in space’ (OBVIOUSLY my band name, you heathens) conjures several upsetting ideas, in this case it was indicative of new penguin colonies. Their diet also produces guano rich in nitrogen, which bacteria in the soil converts to nitrous oxide. These penguin poo piles produced so much laughing gas that researchers studying them were hit with a rough case of the giggles. Funny shit.
This has been your Moment of Science, ready to tackle whatever shit the week throws at me, but I would have preferred not to get a concussion today.
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