MOS: Molotov Cocktails

I’ve seen the comment a few times now.

“Good luck fighting tanks with Molotov cocktails.”

I can understand the skepticism. However, the humble beverage has a proud history of being served to armored vehicles with a fiery chaser.

Today’s Moment of Science… A toast to the Russian military.

Just ask Rick Santorum; having something named after you for all eternity isn’t necessarily a goddamn compliment. Vyacheslav Molotov was one of Stalin’s right hand turdnuggets, playing a large role in one of the Soviet Union’s nastier attempts at Ukrainian genocide. Born Vyacheslav Skryabin, he derived his ‘revolutionary’ last name from the Russian word for ‘hammer.’ In the Winter War of 1939-1940, Molotov’s propaganda claimed that they weren’t dropping bombs on Finland, oh no. They were dropping “humanitarian aid,” shipments of food for their starving neighbors to the west.

(Narrator: Bombs. They were dropping bombs.).

Finns started referring to the RRAB-3 cluster bomb as ‘Molotov’s Bread Basket.’ And when tanks rolled into town, they responded with improvised bottle bombs: the Molotov cocktail.

It’s a simple bottle explosive with a flammable liquid inside. A wick typically made of a rag is shoved into the top of the bottle, acting as the ignition source. Upon shattering, a blaze emerges from high proof alcohol, diesel fuel, kerosene, or whatever flammable shit was kicking around babushka’s basement. Some mixtures use additives designed to make it sticky, more or less producing a homemade napalm. After setting fire to the wick of a Molotov, for the love of god, treat it like Santorum and yeet it the fuck away from you as fast as humanly possible.

Similar bottle bombs were documented to be used in the Spanish Civil War a few years prior, typically using jam jars filled with petrol. There have been military-grade versions ignited by a chemical reaction, and some use wind-proof matches. Then there’s the more recent creation of the ‘puputov cocktail.’ They’re literally full of shit, and I’m still not entirely sure if that’s worse than being glitter bombed.

So how well do these flaming balls of liquor cabinet stack up against a tank? Surprisingly, rather well. Incendiary devices don’t need to be complicated to fuck up some shit, and early tanks were- technical term- some shit.

A Molotov cocktail to the rear deck of a T-26 tank could send burning liquid into its engine, causing a fire that would smoke soldiers out of the tank cabin. Its metal tracks were safe, but not the highly flammable rubber rollers they were attached to.

Reportedly, out of about 1,900 Russian tanks that were taken by Finland in the Winter War, 400 were wrecked by fires, most of which were caused by Molotov cocktails.

Tanks and other armored vehicles are undeniably better constructed today, but that doesn’t mean the time honored tactic of raining artisanal napalm should be abandoned. Fire inside of a tank cabin can still force the crew out, and lines of sight can be greatly diminished by a haze of smoke. If vulnerabilities on a tank aren’t readily apparent, a hammering cocktail of fiery rain will locate it like hand sanitizer on an itsy scratch.

Molotov reportedly hated his namesake weapon of revolution.

This has been your Moment of Science, just suggesting perhaps don’t fuck around with these unless you’re literally in some sort of warzone, kids.

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