Daily MOS: The Lab Leak Hypothesis, Parts 1&2
For the most part, a coronavirus in a bat stays there, not doing anything. At least not until the bat flies mouth or ass first into something interesting. Kinda like all of us with our HPV infections.
Daily MOS: The Life and Times Of Luminiferous Aether
Aether somehow consisted of invisible solid particles that needed to be simultaneously completely rigid to transport light but a fluid to allow solids to move through it. Aether was whatever it needed to be depending on the last physicist torturing it.
Daily MOS: Ivan Ivanov and the Humanzees
Because while the hot sperm is flying, other than a sense of ethics and a fear of incurring God’s wrath, what’s stopping you from making some human-primate hybrids? Humanzees, if you will.
Daily MOS: The Friendly Capybara
Sometime in the 1700s, the Vatican decided, “fuck it, the capybara’s a fish. God called up on the hotline and said it can swim, so, obviously. Oh yeah, ditto the beaver. Pope, out.”
Daily MOS: Intermittent Fasting
When you eat your food in a small window of time, there’s a quantum flux in the food-mouth window, and the calories are sucked into the vacuum of space.
Daily MOS: Directed Panspermia
If it truly was the grand plan of some alien species to fly zillions of miles to seed a random planet with DNA, enzymes, proteins, and a microbe or two, I have some questions regarding their long game for Australia.
Daily MOS: The Mars Climate Orbiter
It’s unclear if there’s ever been a bigger boner due to a problem with unit conversion, but if losing a hundred million dollar spacecraft isn’t enough to drag the US on board with the metric system? Seems we’re stuck with feet, ounces, gallons, and whatever stones are.
Daily MOS: The SL-1 Reactor
All we know next is that, for no apparent reason, John Byrnes pulled that control rod up by about twenty inches.
Daily MOS: Goddamn Cassowaries
They’re not just dicks to humans; these prehistoric chickens barely put up with each other.