Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Oh itsiest bitsiest deer.
Today’s Moment of Science… The Pudu Deer.
Hailing from the rainforests of South America, there are two species of these fun-sized floofs. The northern pudus are the smallest deer in the world. They’re about the size of a cat, measuring a foot tall at the shoulder and weighing only 7-13lbs. The southern pudus are relative horkers at 14-18 inches and 15-30lbs, somewhere between the size of a terrier and a cocker spaniel.
“But Ms. Auntie SciBabe,” I hear like six of you thinking super loudly, “what about the particularly miniscule mouse-deer?” Which is a forgivable question because indeed, they’re smaller than pudus, deserve their own MOS, and they’re rather deer-like. Mouse-deer, or chevrotains, are the smallest hoofed mammals. But taxonomy says they’re not deer, just heartbreakingly adorable deer adjacent rabbit sized things. My band name.
These critters mostly communicate with each other via scent glands in their face. This is used to send a variety of messages, but mostly it’s used to rub their faces on whatever the fuck they want to label “back off, my deer shit.” They also use the time honored approach of leaving dung heaps around their territory to likewise say “back off, my deer shit.”
As a bite-sized ungulate, they’ve developed some interesting defensive strategies. To evade predators like owls, foxes, and big cats, the nimble buggers run in a zig-zag pattern. If they sense danger with their tiniest prince of the forest senses, these bantam bambis are known to bark. It’s been described as sounding similar to a dog’s bark, but recorded observations of this are few and far between. If it sounds anything like the muntjac deer, it’s a noise I’ve previously only heard in a horror film.
If the pudus think they’ve spotted a threat before it’s spotted them, they’ll hold so still they can evade detection. It’s common for predators to use built-in motion detection to find their prey, and this response allows them to become effectively invisible. It’s not the same, but the ‘freezing’ response of a deer in the headlights has some similarities to an opossum ‘playing dead.’ A complicated physiological process, freezing is such effective camouflage that it’s used as a primary defense mechanism against predators.
Indeed, they’re so goddamn good at playing hide and go fuck your scientific research that relatively little is known about the smaller northern cousins. Their elusive nature and ability to hide in plain sight has limited scientists’ ability to observe and collect data on them.
Typically solitary animals, pudus congregate for mating season in April and May. I’m sure there’s a research project in the works examining what combination of scents the pudu rubs on their local messaging stump to signal “it’s stag boner season, lads.” Southern pudu fawns have white spots that fade as they mature. They’re typically full grown by three months and weigh just 1.5-2lbs at birth. This suggests there’s something cuter than a baby deer, and that’s a super goddamn tiny baby deer.
Are the species endangered? Threatened? It’s hard to say for the elusive northern pudu, but the number of southern pudu has been decreasing for some time. Parasites, new predators, and various forms of habitat destruction for industry and agriculture have taken their toll. They’re considered near threatened, and breeding programs have been established in captivity.
People also poach the pudu for pets.
Which begs the question; should you get a pet pudu?
Absofuckinglutely not.
A barking deer that’s evolved to thrive in the rainforest isn’t going to be at its happiest in goddamn Hoboken, no matter how perfect of a terrarium you build it. Maybe you’re the exception, the pudu whisperer, but Audrey Hepburn and mini-Pippin you will not be with this South American lapdeer. Know what’s gonna happen? Best case scenario, it decides it likes you, your territory is now its territory, and it’s gonna pudu all over your carpet to let you know “back off, my deer shit.”
This has been your Moment of Science, a bit exasperated after watching no less than two hours of pudu videos- in two languages- to try to find one goddamn pudu bark and NOTHING.
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Sounds much like the African dik-dik gazelle, well, minus the barking. Calls of the dik-dik is how they got their name. Even with similar facial scent glands.
I’ve actually hand fed those cat sized gazelles. OK, nearly cat sized, if one compares my neighbor’s Russian Blue tomcat to them.
They apparently never developed the instinct to detect when someone’s been tagged REF.
You know REF, R.E.F., Retired, Extremely Flatulent.